一个人在家的一个下午

那天，一个人在家。本来好好地，突然有一个想法，趁老妈不在，到琴房和老爸说说话去。

琴房是老爸身前最爱待的一个房间，里面有他爱的黑胶碟唱机，有他最爱的country side音乐黑胶碟，有几架小提琴，还有一架钢琴。我想，除了country side music能给他带来平静，看着那些不同大小的小提琴，他也回忆我们小时侯，他开车載进载出带我们去上小提琴课的日子吧？他最proud of 的日子。

琴房现在的墙壁上还有很多照片，有婆婆、公公、阿嫲、还有我老爸。他们都不在了。老爸去世后，我们都很少进来这个房间，尤其是妈妈。

对着老爸的遗照、我说着说着话，竟然抽泣起来。我跟他说我很想念他，不知道他过的好吗？他的地方有没有他爱听的黑胶碟唱片？有没有花生吃？有没有人跟他抓抓背、捏捏颈？然后我跟爸爸说，要保佑阿觅。她太苦了，从小有那个病。这次的手术一定要成功，换她一个正常的生活。阿觅说，中医说这种手术会缩短生命的，我告诉阿觅说，你要quality还是quantity??给你活到长长但是如果常给这个病折磨，这种生活要来干嘛？所以我叫老爸一定要保佑她的手术，一定要痊愈得好。

说完了哭完了，我去看旧照片album。看着20年前老爸开心的搂着我们三个小瓜拍的照片，又忍不住哭一轮。刚好有一张是1989年8月5日拍的，整整20年前后，竟然人就不在，我们三个也长大成人了。也看到老妈为了我们三个小瓜，美丽的容貌已不在、换来的是现在苍老垂落的脸孔和发胖的身体。我几乎也忘了，老妈也年轻过、美丽过、纤瘦过。

唉，突然很感触。这就是人的cycle吗？慢慢吞噬自己的青春，为的是建筑孩子的未来。

昨天妹妹出院了，手术蛮成功的。妈妈还说，出院的前一晚，她梦到老爸来医院站在病床前看阿觅。我跟妈妈说，如果下一次再梦到老爸，记得提醒他还有另一个女儿，也很想见见他呢：）

Raksasa

Sibeh raksasa, everything also want her hands on, everything she also wants to give approval. And because of this, she slowing me down on so many projects. Should I care? Absolutely not, because if in the end of the day something came up wrong, I will just answer "not me causing delay. It's the approval from RM delaying it ok?"

Sibeh raksasa, hari hari set up conference call. And she likes to scold people in conference call if someone disagree of her point of view. And, now is 1.38pm, supposed the conference call is from 1pm, she still not activated the conference call. 40 minutes late. Arghhh!!!!

Sibeh raksasa!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Belated blog about a trip to 张家界

Only got time to update the trip we had to 张家界 late May.

We met a very friendly, honest driver. He is so young (younger than my sister), and, his car was quite upclass, and clean. And he treats us like king and queen, even bought us a map, and the price he quote us to bring us around, is not expensive at all (I did do some search on baidu before going to the trip, so I roughly know what's the price for certain stuff). We feel so glad to met him the night we arrived.

We went to so many mountains, mountains over mountain, cable car after cable car, and most mountain looks like a d*ck... if you get what I mean. Well, as soon as I made that ocmment during the trip, I slipped over a rock. I was standing on top of a big rock, beside me got river, and taking a photo. It was very painful when I fell, it's like someone slap my butt. So, I think the "mountain god" is punishing me for saying he looks like a d*ck. hahha... bleah. This is an outdoor elevator just built at the cliff. Damn siok!

Anyway, after 2 weeks liao, I feel so lazy to go over the detail again. Just paste the picture loh:) I really enjoyed this trip. It's very relaxing and close to nature trip.

p/s: more photos on facebook.

妈妈和舅舅的寻根记

妈妈和舅舅来上海玩10天。妈妈是第三次来了，如果算上7年前举家来上海游玩的那一次，那就是第四次了。舅舅是第一次。他开玩笑的说，他是来寻根的。呵呵。

我的外婆和外公，都是纯真的上海人。基于某种原因，他们在很年轻的时候就来到南洋，就落地生根了。妈妈和舅舅都是在新加坡出生的。外婆一直都有写信联络她在中国的舅舅。但是，就仅仅是外婆在做联系咯，没有人在乎这件事，没有人过问中国的亲戚到底是怎么样的、住哪里？没有人知道这里还有什么人。

后来，外婆突然在7-8年前的一个夜晚，在睡梦中撒手人世。从此以后，就更没有人知道中国这边的connection了（外公早在10几年前就去世了）。

原来，人老了，真的想寻根的。我舅舅和妈妈这一趟，就有这么一丁点儿的想法。舅舅靠着他的记忆（他记得外婆时常写信的时候，地址是复兴西路xxx弄xxx号。他就问我，上海有没有这一条路呢？我说，当然有，地段不要太好哦！

我们周日下午，去了田子坊就到复兴西路，在出租车上倒数着弄堂数，突然，看到那个号码，心都要跳出来了。本来没有目的的到访，真没有想到竟然有这个弄，这个号，房子就在眼前。

下了车，舅舅先是狂拍了一轮照片。然后，他敲门。没有人应。舅舅就推门进去（舅舅胆子很大的）。里面还有一个房门，一个厨房，还有楼上。找到一个老头，和一个老太。老头很温顺，老太很上海女人，舌尖嘴利，她深怕我们取回房子（房子现在好像是归国家了，他们是住在这套房子里,free），把我们打发出去，说不认识我的曾舅舅（妈妈的妈妈的爸爸的弟弟还是哥哥）。

我的舅舅，回去待了几天，昨天说要去再找这个老头。真的狠巧，舅舅到的时候，老头正从外面回到家里，而且老太不在（老太不是老头的老婆，他们是不同的两户住客）。老头很友善，有问必答，告诉了我舅舅，曾舅舅曾经在哪里做事，叫我舅舅打去那边的人事部问一下。

我在百度搜了一下那个单位的电话号码，舅舅就打去问了（又是很胆子大的行为）。第一通电话，他们查下来，没有这个人，但是，那个人事部的人很热心，说可能是他们隔壁家的（next door, different company name by a bit)。舅舅就打去隔壁家的单位，他们竟然认识我们的曾舅舅（已经退休25年）！！给了我们他家的电话。我舅舅打过去，心里想，曾舅舅年纪这么大了，可能不在了（他已经90多岁数了）。So he asked for his son。接电话的是我的曾舅母，她说他不在。舅舅就想到搏一搏，就问我的曾舅舅在不在，她说“请等一下” next thing you know, my jiu jiu is talking to his grand jiu jiu... 他们约了明天见面！

整个寻根过程就是这样误打误撞下完成。首先，亏我舅舅这把年纪了还记得那个地址，然后是遇到好心的老头给我们指点，然后又是遇到他单位里好人，把电话给了我们，然后我那个曾舅舅竟然还活着！这一切都太妙了！

Good friend Aigie said I am a 1/4 shanghainese. I think think, no, not 1/4, I am 1/2 shanghainese, because my mom's side is 100% shanghainese. Wow... amazing leh... I am so excited about this root-finding incident. I can imagine how my mom and jiujiu is feeling now. It's like some important document went missing for so many years, and you finally found it back!

如果外婆还活着，该有多好。她做梦想也不会想到她的孙子，现在竟然在上海工作生活，她的孩子，竟然在这趟旅游找到失散的舅舅！

Naked in Facebook

My manager just added me to her facebook last week... so from now on I have to watch out my languae in facebook... bleah:(

In her understanding, I am very guai guai type, so, cannot use foul language.

In her understanding, I don't have conflict with colleagues except raksasa, so, I cannot bitch about colleagues on facebook (which I don't remember I have done that yet... anyway)

Aiyah, very mah fan lah now, I feel I don't have privacy liao:( But, takkan don't add her right? She will be curious if I don't add her... hor?

Hmmmm... this feels like I am just wearing bra-bra in front of her... almost naked. Tiu lah, cannot talk freely liao... help~~~~~~

orh si also ng duk han

Have you heard of this phrase "orh si also ng duk han"?

I have experienced this today. Mah de, I woke up by myself at 8.15am (the stupid alarm clock, I am gonna throw you away, you dumb ass, not functioning when I needed you most), annoyed, stressed, rushed and therefore, did not have my usual bangsai session. Arghh...

Just finished the S&M meeting, which is a great relief, although there are many many many more coming this month on ppt preparations, budget, cut budget, increase forecast, wah lao eh... why?? why??? Sei Guai Low dumb ass, why must you create global financial crisis?

Coming soon, the update on 张家界 during the dumpling festival: We visited many mountains, different shapes, different look, different cable cars (it's amazing, I finally concluded that China has the most advanced cable cars on the earth, I think), and, different height. I was very afraid of height, there's 1 cable car ride made my face turn white and I almost cried inside the cable car with hands shaking because the cable car was climbing across cliff, at45 to 60 degree inclination!

Depressing mode

As the 1 year anniversary draw nearer and nearer, I kept flashing back, what was I doing 1 year ago?

1 year ago I still have my dad, alive, not sick, but I didn't try to call him and talk to him more. It was just like normal old days, I spoke to him only when he was at home and answered the phone when I was calling mom. Whenever I have things not going my way, I told my mom, and my mom told my dad, and he will text me with comforting words. I took those sms as granted, I never saved any of them, I deleted them. How regretful I feel now.

I still remember last year in June, I was frantically preparing for the local VIP show. And suddenly things happened, phone calls ringing, and it ruined my life. I still remember how I broke into tears when I asking for few hours off from work from my manager because I need to go buy air ticket to fly off next day, and how good my manager was, she told me don't worry about work, she can cover for me on the whole VIP show preparation.

I still remember that night, I almost wet my whole pillow because I cannot stop crying. And Jay was in his U.S. trip. I was dealing all these alone.

I still remember how I have to turn down Nicole's invitation to her house to eat dinner because her mom was cooking.

I still remember I was texting my dad that night, but forgot that he was too weak to have the phone with him. My sister brought his phone back to house. Anyway, he couldn't have used the phone because he was in ICU the next day, after the big operation, which is a mistaken operation. Many times I wonder, what if he didn't go through that operation, would he have lived more months. And the KK Foo that was the surgeon, I can still remember how unprofessional he was, in dealing with my questions, at that emotional stage, and how he showed his "please punch me" face. His ugly face!

I also remembered how cold was the KLIA airport that day when I arrived. Did the A/C spoilt that day? None of the people I met in the airport have happy face. Do they also have a dying dad? If not, why they have sour face? Jay's arrangement of having his best friend Eric picking me up from airport even though I assure him I can take the taxi is a wise move. It's comforting to know that you have friends care about you and your family during those period of time. I also remember I wept at Eric's car, and luckily he has a tissue box because I finished mine.

I miss my dad:( He didn't let me dream of him anymore. I really wonder where does people go when they died. And what went through their head when they breath out last breathe. By the way, I don't believe there's heaven or Jesus or prayers being heard this kind of rubbish. It makes me depressed thinking of this.

Where is my dad???

My Cookie

I have a new phone, his name is Cookie! Hoo Hoo...

I had it for a week, but I was busy trying understands him more with each day passed. It's a cool phone! I like it. OK, if you are comparing it with the iphone, then iphone is still cooler lah (Why I no buy iphone? Because I am a woman, woman changes mind so easily! I was thinking of getting Nokia N71, but when I go into the store, I am so confused with so many sleaky phones, and they all waving at me with their best put-up face and function.. haha). Actually, the first few days after I got this phone, I don't like it, I was so resisting to change and I was still using the sony ericsson, I even have the thought give this phone to my mom to use and I get the Nokia N71. But the more I discover this Cookie, the more I fall in love with it. Haha.

I installed games with GPRS over the weekend, so now I can play my favorite tetris and sudoku on the phone. Yay!

And it can edit photos, for instance the kawaii look icons and font. Hahaha.. ok, this is not the reason I buy this phone, but I am surprised with this function:)

And I can pulled out 9 persons as my most favorite contact so I have short cut key to call that person or write sms to that person.

It's a touch screen phone, with your thumb or the pen. hohoho.. this means, I can type chinese sms even faster!!! (now this is the reason I buy this phone!)

And the phone is thin!

And it has gravity sense! (if you flip it 90 degree, it will display in portrait format)

And, it's not expensive! (meaning if i get bored of it, i can change to new phone without feeling guilty)

I plan to get this phone with my money from the start. When I was pulling out my wallet to pay in the store, bui bui offered to buy for me! I was very touched. (actually, the last sony ericsson s500 phone, bui bui bought for me one, and he make me promised the phone has to last more than 2 years. It only lasted 1 year 4 months++ so by right, I have to pay by myself one) Yoh... why bui bui so nice one:)

p/s: I put my sony ericsson back into the box, to store it away. It's still a nice looking phone. But, sony ericsson has to do better job next time. He just lost a customer. I won't use any sony ericsson phone anymore loh. The next phone I will use is either LG again, Nokia, or iphone.

Where is my necklace?

Bui Bui always wear a phiten necklace, the one that's supposed to reduce your neck muscle strain with magnetic balancing, something like that.

This morning, before he goes to work, he walk in and out of the bedroom finding the necklace. Normally, this kind of behavior only happens at me at home because I am the type will forget where I put the stuff. There was one time I cannot find my glasses and I suspect it was broken by my cleaning lady Ayi and she threw it away to hide the facts (you see, I can have a very good imagination sometimes). Turns out that bui bui found it covered by my clothes on a chair.

So, I asked Bui Bui "could it be you left it in the gym when you took the shower last night?" "Cannot be, I was shaving at home last night, it was on my neck!".

Ignoring him, I quickly dress up and get ready to go out. This week got the guai low boss visiting our office. I don't know why ALL guailow bosses that I known of so far, likes to have early meeting.

Just when I was wearing my shoes, Bui Bui suddenly exclaimed with shyness tone, "Babe, I found it." I was puzzled and excited, "Where?" I asked. Bui Bui answered, "it was on my neck all these while."

I almost pengsan. What about you?

Amazon Kindle

Remember I said I wanted an i-phone almost 1 month ago? Well, after 1 week from the time I wrote the blog, the "desire" dies off. You know lah, women mah...

Then I read a magazine, introducing an e-book reading device, from Amazon, called Kindle. It's now on my wishlist. This device is so cool I read about it's introduction on YouTube (now, who said advertisement must be on TV commercial or magazine?), the word "wireless", "light", "thin", "longlasting battery life" catches my attention immediately.

I wonder can I find it in China. If I can find in China, can I download the e-book content wirelessly with some small fees? Aiyoh... very gun cheong now. Must find out this weekend. Heard the second generation is coming out soon tim... ooo...

It's slightly cheaper than i-phone. And I heard, it works well with i-phone too, I have to find out what it means by that, because as far as I know, the smarty i-phone have every function, but not e-book.

What do you want DL?!

Lately I saw a documentary show about dogs. I feel like I want to own a dog.

I saw my friends kept saying bicycling is additive (in developed country though). I felt like having a bike too.

Friend told me Share A is worth investing, I calculating my capital, see if I have enough to own it or not.

Then Aigie suggesting trips to go on the coming Dumpling Day (public holiday), I wanted to go so many places but only have 4 days off. Near near trip within China I not interested liao. Far far trip needs at least 5 or 6 days I don't dare to take any more leaves I think I am black listed on big boss blackberry (haha... cialat!).

Then over the lunch, my colleague kept telling me the stuff about his little baby (6 months old). I feel like I want baby with Jay.

Why I have so many needs? Keep wanting this and that. I really bengan thinking about options... arrghhh.. "What do you want DL?!"

打小人

最近工作很不舒心，因为来了一个死小人。这个女人，我恨不得拔她的皮，然后雇一个bangladesh去鸡奸她。这个死女人，听说她离过婚，因为那时候她跟公司的男人睡了，前夫知道后，把她给休掉。之后她就吊了一个前公司的男人做男朋友，这个男的最近被调到上海，所以她也跟着尾巴，没明没分的来。这个男的在Electrolux做，所以有时候我也会跟我朋友说起今天electrolux bitch 对我怎么样怎么样。对了，我称她为electrolux bitch!

因为很恨她，就想起香港盛行的“打小人”，去google搜了一下，竟然还有标准的打小人咒语，你看？很搞笑的。呵呵。

死女人！我下一次去香港，一定花40元去打你这个死小人！

New life

这盆盆栽，是两年前和家人去南京时捧回来的（坐了2个小时的火车呢！）刚买来时，很多叶子的。但是去年，不知怎么的，它的杆变得很瘦，叶子也掉光了。我很难过，但是我不放弃的浇水呵护它，还悄悄地跟它说：“我父亲已经走了，你不要也离开我”。随着春天的到来，它竟然发芽，长叶子！我真的很激动：）它活过来了！

顽强的生命—谢谢你让我感悟到有生命是美好的！

阳朔之旅

I am back from Yangshuo! Yay, another accomplishment. I told Jay this is it, there's nothing else in China interests me anymore. I have been to most if not all, of the most interesting places in China! All done with my honey:-)

It's a very relaxing trip because we managed our own itenary and time. Luckily it's not with tour group, if not, they sure bring us see the yong-tree (very old one wor), and the 岩洞 which it is not my cup of tea. I have seen it else where, so I can imagine what's inside, and it's boring.

Actually, the only interesting thing in Yangshuo, is the mountain. Let pictures do the talking. We also did hot-air balloon, it was fun!! But the fog is a bit thick so we cannot see clear clear view like those in the postcard picture, but it is good enough, see the view?
We went to see the 刘三姐印象, actually, from just the name it sounds very boring and kampung feel, liu san jie wor.... but I read so many good comment about this show, and it is not cheap. In China, anything not cheap should be good. hahahha... so, we went to watch the show. It was fantastic!!! The way they use the lights and colors and include 600 people to complete the play, is so fascinating. The director is 张艺谋, he uses "light bulbs" in one of the show (very "Olympic" feel), it was so fascinating. Camera cannot capture how beautiful it is... if you ever go yangshuo, please, cannot miss this show.

After the show, it was almost 9pm, we sit on the "public transportation" to bring us to West Street 西街. This street is so happening at night time. We had our dinner there, walk walk, see see, before we know it, it was almost 11.30pm. There's a lot of happening pub at West street. And almost all restaurant on that street has perfect English menu, ngor mun nei sei mei? hahaha...

The next day, we did cycling. I was so regret why I didn't ask for the double-cycle so Jay can do the pedaling and I just sit behind comfortably. I am so small guts when it comes to cycling. Whenever any vehicle hon behind me, I stopped. I am not good at cycling. Nevertheless, this does not stop us from enjoying the boat ride later on, and the view along the river:

On the 3rd day, we went to 龙脊梯田，it's a 3 hour car ride. Wah, sit until butt butt also pain. But the view is worth the pain. The driver told us the best view is in May and October. Our this time of the year, can only see some shape. Sob sob... but never mind lah, let the imagination run wild. hehe... We climbed a lot of staircase that day, the air is so fresh there (like our Cameron Highland), and people there are very friendly, "real", and they look happy. No cunning faces as in Shanghai.

We had lunch at one of the local's house, actually, it was her restaurant, but she kept saying, "come to my house for lunch". The lady is very friendly. She even owns the "hotel". Can stay there one. We ordered our lunch, and her son cook for us, so funny. hahaha... but don't play play, her son quite leng chai one, and his cooking is quite good:)
Can you see my tired face walking down the staircase? hehe...

The fourth day, our flight is at night time, so we lepak in the town, and have second boat ride. This time, the boat ride is cheap, and nicer view (I think). And the place is just near our hotel, no need go far far. haha... here's some fantastic view:

There, finished the Yangshuo trip. It's a relaxing trip with 山山水水. :-)

Another new pet?

If I am lucky, I am gonna have this phone next week. Yippie!!!!

Sorry Sony Ericsson, you really sucks - your keypad cracked, your keypad went unsensitive and sometimes I cannot return to the main page and I have to restart the phone to reach main page which is really sucks, and, you lousy thing, you cannot group same people's sms into one thread. And by the way, when you played video, it's either stopped and played from the begining again, or just watch the movie from begining til end, there's no pause key! Bleah!!

Yah... I admit, there's always just so much excuses available for a person to dump the old love. hahaha...

桃花岛 - 西塘

Jay's brother is here with his wife, and 4 other friends. Yup, you heard me right, there are 6 of them! First night when I go to meet them after work, I told myself, "sei loh... these few days I have to be with them??" Reason being is the 2 wives have very moody face. But then the next day, I think they have enough rest at hotel, these people have become so fun to be with, I am a bit miss them today already (they went to putuo today).

This is Jay and his brother, same face or not?:) The way they laugh, is so same! "hi-hi-hi-heee"

We went 桃花岛, before we go Xitang.

You don't see we post so sweet like that, it was full of bull's shit smell on the floor!!!! hahaha..



This is my favorite shot:





After played at Taohua place for 1.5 hours, we went to Xitang. It's a beautiful water-village.

The ah-ma was singing. We were on the boat across it. It's quite an artistic scene:)


It's a nice getaway weekend. Luckily the rain stops on Saturday afternoon and not raining on Sunday. Yay..:)