Sending dad to KL Sentral station...

Haven't been writing much at all in the past 6 years. But today, really want to write something about my dad.

My dad works in Terengganu, while our family is in Kuala Lumpur. It is a place where you can't get much freshie stuff even your pocket got money. Mom said you can easily get expired toufu from the supermarket there, and not many good restaurants there. It is a good place for perhaps a boring retirement, definitely not for long living plan. Haha.. Anyway, my mom is always very excited about my dad's coming back (usually twice a month). I am too. But my excitement usually only lasted few hours, then conversation with my dad will turn into hostile argument.

Forgotten since when I like to argue with him about everything. About his temper (he has really bad temper), his taste in his wearing, his hair, his choice of words... everything. Sometimes, I will make sarcastic comment about him too -- "why are you writing post-dated cheque? Do you know this is risky? Not say your bank account got no money. You have money in your bank account waht... why do you want to write post-dated cheque???".

My dad is a professor. I used to look up to him a lot. He taught my Algebra in his free time when I was in Form 2, my Maths sucks big time that year. And the more I can't master in Algebra, the more I hate the class, and the more I find excuses not to complete the algebra exercise that the lecturer gave. It was my dad that taught me with all his patience (I am surprised his bad temper during that time did not apply to me..). After a few months of private lessons from him, I finally can understand Algebra, and that helps a lot in my future maths - Calculus, Add Maths, 三角学, etc. To me, he is the God that time, he knows how to solve difficult Physics questions, and helped me to balance the chemical equation, and taught me the difference of single-bond and double-bond chemical substances. However, nowadays I always find him very careless in everything, such as writing post-dated cheque, being cheated in supermarket (those lucky draw thingy and ask you to top up cash for some useless houseware as a gift), and even driving skill. For this, we always argue. We two are too alike, and this makes us always 火星撞地球. Quite bad.

Though when he is in KL, we always argue. However, when I send him to the KL sentral station to catch the KLIA Express to the airport, when he get off the car, I always feel lost.. the feeling is very weird, even close to guilty. In my heart I will start scolding myself -- "he is your dad, how can you always argue with him? He is so old already, so what's wrong if his driving skill is not as good as before? And he is so old already, what's wrong if his rationality become weak and caused him making all the stupid decision?". Every single time I sent him to KL sentral, I will have this guilty feeling. I really don't like it.

I know he always love me, since my first day in this world. Still remember my mom told me how much he like to hug me and hold me when I was still a baby.

I just hope he knows I love him too... and I hope I can change my attitude towards him. I will do better on his next trip to KL. Afterall, not a lot of chance for me to improve after I leave for Shanghai in another 6 weeks.

Dad I love you!! Please forgive me...